A client seeking a psilocybin journey for personal growth sent the email below, and I found it so beautiful that I asked if I could share it with you.Sometimes, I feel like an insect embedded in amber, as if at one point I was about to do something, turn into something, take flight. But I ended up preserved in situ, instead – trapped in a rigid matrix, unable to become.
Most of my family members are gone now – either passed on, or estranged for one reason or another. There is no way to escape the sadness of this reality. One of the advantages of being separated from home and family, however, is that you are freer to rediscover yourself, radically change course, or even reinvent yourself entirely.
The people you’re closest to can keep you pinned in place without intending any harm. They profile you, develop a set of expectations about you, formulate a definition of who you are and what you can become. It all settles around you and hardens into something unyielding and permanent, like sap from a tree pools and eventually hardens into amber.
It’s time to break free from this now. It’s time for a reset. I need to integrate the logical, intellectual part of who I am with the rest of my emotional metaphysical self to become who I was on my way to becoming when the trap was set.
We are all trying to navigate our way to a place that feels like home. Some of us get worn down by life, while others are waylaid or driven off-course by fear. Psilocybin appears to offer insight and guidance to help us get back on the road home again. That’s all most of us really want in the end, to find our way back home.
As we discussed in our conversation, my financial situation is somewhat uncertain. I’m not sure whether I can afford to take advantage of your services at this point, but then again, I’m not sure whether I can afford to wait. I’ve been wishing and waiting for the chance to explore psilocybin for my entire adult life. I don’t want to wait too long. I feel like I have more living to do, something still to accomplish, before I die. I’m hoping that psilocybin will help me find the courage to complete my transformation.
Photo Credit: Giacamond by Quint Buchholz
